Scribbler's Cafe

Momentum

I have hurled myself through the past two years of school. Since I have been attending school full-time (often overloaded) and also have a child, a job and a husband, I had worked myself up into a determined ball of energy. If I caught a rare moment of peace, it was only because I decided to neglect some pressing item (homework, child, love).

Today is my first day of no classes. Kiomye is at daycare. Matt is at school completing his finals and frankly wants nothing to do with me until the end of the week when he is finished. There is nothing I need to do.

I hurried through my morning, getting Kiomye fed and dressed and off to daycare so I could use my precious free time to get my work done. I burst through the door when I got home, marched through the living room, then stopped suddenly. There was nothing I needed to do. I had no idea where I has hurrying to. I have no “to do” list, no backlog of reading to finish, no meetings to attend.

Weird.

I stood there in the middle of the living room for a couple minutes, then panic started to set in. I had to do something! It’s been so long since I was left up to my own devices, that I didn’t know what to do with myself, with my hands even, just hanging there like flacid lobsters.

So, of course, I cleaned the entire house. Two cups of coffee and one dirty mop bucket later, my house is sparkling for the first time in months. Again, the moment of panic in the middle of the living room.

Ah, yes, the internet. The easy answer. That’s where you meet me now, distracting myself by prowling around online. I’ll let my mind slow down and fry out a couple of its over active circuits, then sign-off and finally ask myself what I would enjoy doing with my time. Maybe. Or, I could just stay online and avoid myself all day. That might work too.

posted by Scribbler @ Tuesday, June 08, 2004