Scribbler's Cafe

Strongbad dreams of sisters

Tee hee! This made me laugh:
http://podstar.homestarrunner.com/sb_email_sisters.m4v

Oh, strongbad, how I love thee!

posted by Scribbler @ Thursday, June 29, 2006 0 comments

Madness

Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. This past week has been crazy. Here are the highlights:

Last Monday, after running with our students in a billion degree afternoon humidity, the part-time teacher trailing me collapsed onto the pavement. He fell over backwards, cracked his head open on the cement and started convulsing. I was the only other teacher around. Oh crap. Instead of trying to remember the CPR I've learned at least five times and forgotten just as many, I sprinted to get the nurse. I told her to bring the AED (electronic shocker machine) and to hurry hurry hurry! When we got back to the collapsed teacher, he had no pulse and was not breathing. The PE had started CPR, but he wasn't responding. That was a terrifying moment. He did NOT look good. He looked rather... dead.

The nurse affixed the the connectors to his chest, pushed the button, got the go-ahead and shocked him. His pulse came back and he started to breathe again. Within five minutes, he was doing much better and mumbling about being sorry for the trouble he caused. (No problem!) The ambulance came and took him away.

The hospital called our school later that day and told us that if we hadn't responded within three minutes that he would have died, and even so, the odds of the AED working are very very slim - about 1 in 30. I am very thankful he is alive and doing much better and that I was able to help in some small way (even if just to get better help than me). But, I have to admit, that scared the crap out of me. When I heard how close he came and that if we hadn't of acted quickly he would have died, well, that makes me very nervous.

So there was that. Of course, last week was a very hectic week at school anyway. I had a full load of classes to plan and teach, 186 English compositions to decipher and grade, a toddler that wanted my full and undivided attention, and all that lovely teacher drama that I manage to stir up.

Kiomye has also been feeling the stress that work is causing me and demanding more attention so that she can feel secure. One frantic morning, my babysitter didn't show up and I had to find a safe place for Kiomye just 20 minutes before I needed to teach my first class of the day. Plus, my students have recently discovered that I'm divorced and have made it their personal mission to try set me up with all sorts of inappropriate teachers, or else themselves. I had to clean out my apartment top to bottom because on Saturday I had 23 of my favorite students over to have the last movie class of the term in my livingroom. (amazingly successful and easy)

I managed to get out to the last Reading Words event in Hommachi (Osaka) this Sunday and had a great time. I read twice and got very strong and positive responses to my work. I also made a lot of friends, which is wonderful. One woman picked up on the erotica sub-lines in my writings and confessed to me later about her own personal work along those lines. We're going to meet-up and swap dirty stories - brilliant fun! Also, a few of the writers were very interested in what I had to say about collaborative writings and now we're starting up a group that will meet as soon as I have a break in my classes. (SOON!) I also made friends with Goth (Yes, GOTH) who is an excellent performer and photographer and we're going to meet up sometime this week to hang out, see his gallery and shoot the shit. Yes, that was a good night.

Today I taught the last of my regular classes and had a late night staff meeting. I teach on Friday, but it's an easy day, after that, it's just final tests, meetings and a sumo tournament. Toru might come visit me next week, which will be wonderful and relaxing if he actually does. Kiomye and I have plans to hit up the Osaka aquarium next week. This Sunday I may go to another literary event being held in a bar. (fun!)

Many more things happened, but now I'm having a hard time remembering them all. Things have just been crazy busy. I'm so glad the term is almost over.

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 28, 2006 3 comments

Come on over to my house!

Having class at my house went very well. I have great students. They were so excited, but still watched the movie and answered all my comprehension questions afterwards. Kiomye had a blast playing them. My students were so well behaved that I have no hesitation in having our last class at my place next term too.

posted by Scribbler @ Saturday, June 24, 2006 0 comments

making promises to students is a bad idea

Tomorrow morning at 8am, 24 of my students are showing up at my apartment to watch the last movie of the term. It's a reward for everyone getting over 90% in my Saturday movie class, come experience the "American" apartment and finish up our last movie on my lovely big tv.

I don't really know how I will fit them all in. I don't really know if I'm breaking some major school rule. I don't really know if I'll be able to keep them out of my bedroom and underwear drawer. I really don't know if just the 24 kids in my movie class will show up, or miraculously so will the other 160 I teach in my weekly classes try to come too (They're insanely jeaous.). I don't really know if this is a horrible, terrible idea or a great motivator and cultural exchange.

But, whatever, I can't wait! It will be so much fun.

I love my kids.

posted by Scribbler @ Friday, June 23, 2006 0 comments

うゐのおくやま

Found 10th century poetry. Absolutely perfect for this 21st century moment in my life.

いろはにほへと	(Iro wa nioedo)	Even if colours have sweet perfume
ちりぬるを	(chirinuru wo)	eventually they fade away
わかよたれそ	(waga yo tare zo)	What in this world
つねならむ	(tsune naran)	is eternal?
うゐのおくやま	(ui no okuyama)	The deep mountains of vanity
けふこえて	(kyō koete)	I cross them today
あさきゆめみし	(asaki yume mishi)	renouncing superficial dreams
ゑひもせす	(yoi mo sezu)	not giving in to their madness any more

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 21, 2006 0 comments

The Unbearable Sweetness of Kiomye

Kiomye and I took the long way home on Sunday night. We'd gone into Nishi-kita for ice cream and decided to skip the train ride home. We'd gone to the zoo that day and were tired, but it is so pleasant to watch the night fall on a walk. The little river is full of giant carp and swimming turtles. Near our home, we passed a little shrine. Kiomye said, "Look, a pray station. Can I pray?" "Of course," I said and watch bemused as she dropped down, laid her cheetah toy on the alter, clasped her hands prayed, "Dear God, thank you for this good day with mommy."

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 21, 2006 0 comments

Take that, you miserable misguided holiday!

Since I could not produce a father, or reasonable facsimile, a trip to the zoo became my Father's Day counter attack. Successful? You judge:Unfortunately, the kangaroos did not fair as well. They seemed to be experience a single species apocalypse.

posted by Scribbler @ Sunday, June 18, 2006 1 comments

I like to control the pretty

Time for a make-over. My old leafy green layout has been feeling a bit heavy. So, here's something much lighter and cleaner. In honor of my new look, here's some doctored pictures to go with my doctored journal.

(It's Saturday night and I'm stuck at home and very bored and moderately cranky. What else am I going to do with myself?)

Oh yes, and check out the new blogger buddies I've added. Good souls.

posted by Scribbler @ Saturday, June 17, 2006 1 comments

Lemming

Yes... It's true. I finally caved to peer pressure. I'm not proud, but here it is:

www.myspace.com/_kelsye

...

posted by Scribbler @ Saturday, June 17, 2006 0 comments

I am not one who sees visions, but...

A week ago, riding the Rokko liner back to the mainland, I peered into the dark churning water of the shipping canal and imagined that I saw the water turn white and break and the leaping, twisting form of a humpback whale burst into the air, then slide into the water and disappear again so quick.

I smiled to myself to be graced with such a lucky sight. I checked left and right to see if the other riders saw it too. Of course, the people on either side of me were not smiling, simply staring and swaying as the train rolled along. The vision was only mine. There was no whale. I am simply missing my land and sea of origin.

For a moment, my mood became heavy and ponderous. We crossed over another dark and violent water passage. Unbroken, but now thick with mystery. Just because what lies beneath the surface fails to reveal itself, does not mean that it is still and inactive.

Such grim foretelling. I gained a strong sense of things lurking beneath the surface. I spent a week in waiting, watching out of the corners of my eyes for the hidden blow, for the force that would sweep me off my feet again.

Last night, so soon, I caught a window full of whales. I was three stories up. It was night in Osaka and a torrential downpour curtained the city. The man sitting next to me said the words that were months too late and I turned away from him, my eyes falling on the wide plate glass window above the bar, suddenly full of movement and action. The whales. Not just one, an uncountable number. Jumping and falling and pirouetting like in a ballet.

posted by Scribbler @ Friday, June 16, 2006 0 comments

My new favorite thing

HA! hahahahahahaha!
homestar runner podcasts
Holy crap this is funny.

Best line: "Uh, Strongbad, were you just first-basing it with that piece of loose-leaf?"

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 14, 2006 1 comments

Vade Mecvm

I read at a little literary shindig in Osaka a few weeks ago. You can click on the link to see me on the "stage".

http://readingwordskansai.blogspot.com/

Directly overhead lighting is the least flattering. Really.

(Hey, Diana! I read Desert Revival. It got a very good response. All my love to you!)

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3 comments

For Ame and Guilia

Plod. Plod. Zoom. Zoom. Days pass in such ordinary, lonely ways that it becomes easy to get wraped up (trapped) in my own private reality. Then two women I've never met tell me they see me and I feel connected to world once again.

I love the women in my life. They may be few in number, but they are all phenomenal. My older sister sent me some fabulous care packages this week. In one, she sent me a "guady Chinese dog ornament" in honor of The Year of the Dog. She wrote a note about how dogs are "loyal, caring and brave by nature" and that this one in particular would watch over my heart for the rest of the year. She also sent me some trashy American magazines, which I read in my hammock, alternating with a Nabakov novel and a heavy non-fiction about Japanese Yakuza. The combination of reading materials balance itself out for perfect enjoyment, stimulation and fun.

My step-mother also sent me an e-card today, just to let me know she was thinking about me.

The women are rallying. Maybe I will make it through this month after all.

(Ame - Did you know that your name means "rain" in Japanese?)

posted by Scribbler @ Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4 comments

Sunday as such

The elderly woman with the big pink bag sat closer than neccessary to us on the train. We chatted with her pleasantly, until she started to ask me where Kio's dad is. That's when I pretended that the Japanese was too difficult for me to follow and turned away with an apologetic smile. Kiomye put on headphones and bobbed her head to the pop music on my ipod. The entire bench bouced and jiggled with her rocking, but I didn't feel the need to stop her.

The center-gai shopping street in Sannomiya, Kobe was packed with people. Kio's hand held tightly to mine as we swept through the crowds. We blew money we didn't have on accessories that sparkle and skirts that swish and swoosh. Kio danced at the rooftop restaurant while I wolfed down her because-you're-so-kawaii complimentary ice cream desert. I let her climb on the hideous art scultpures in the urban park, while I scrawled lines in my little black notebook. Coming back home, we found her scooter still safely parked at our home station, despite the lack of lock, and she scooted her way home happily. Now, We've had our baths. We have read from the Richard Scary books and Glamour magazine in the balcony hammock, had our glasases of water and gone to bed.

Yet here I am, with my clock quickly ticking away the hours until the alarm goes off, two hours of morning class prep ahead of me, a tired body and mind, but still completely unable to sleep. Where is my peace?

posted by Scribbler @ Sunday, June 11, 2006 3 comments

These days, all my best friends are kids

I accompanied a group of my students to Kobe yesterday to see an exhibit of Robert Capa's color photographs. (He was a hugely famous war photographer.) My students have been learning English for two and a half years now. I was hugely proud and delighted that even outside the classroom they wanted to and COULD chat with me. I hung with eight of my students for half they day and can honestly say it was a lot of fun. They are incredible sweethearts.

Of course, it was Saturday, and I should not have been working, I should have been playing with Kiomye. So, to steal back some time, Kiomye and I got all fashion-y and rode the trains into the Shinsaibashi/America-mura area of Osaka for a late dinner and some crazy kid watching. I love going out after dark in the summer. The cool warm is perfect and the air is so comfortable compared to the day. We ate at the Movie Star Cafe and then sat in the little park where the punks and fashionista gather to be seen and play with their keitais. Kiomye talked to me non-stop. She is so funny! She had all kinds of things to say about her friends at school, about the girl with the purple hair next to us, about why we all need peace in our hearts (which is her favorite cause these days). She is charming company.

We got home around ten, which is really late considering Kiomye usually goes to sleep at 8:30, but Kiomye begged me to take a little "night-walk" to the temple stairs where all the stray kitties hide. So, we grabbed some shredded cheese to offer as snacks for the cats and headed on over. The top of these stone stairs is a peaceful and unexpected place in the middle of our busy concrete neighborhood. The stairs are incredibly long, and lift you up onto a leafy platform. When we turn and sit at the top, we have a wonderful view of the lights of Nishinomiya and the passing Shinkansen. As soon as we sat down, no less than eight dark shapes came rushing out to us. Those cats gobbled down the cheese in nothing flat, then sat around us purring and grooming while we all enjoyed the night and the lights.

posted by Scribbler @ Sunday, June 11, 2006 0 comments

Sullen Girl

I have an incredible desire to declare myself “closed” and drop out of everything for a week. God, I’d be thrilled with even a single day.

I need to stop and think. There are decisions begging to be made, directions to declare. But everything is moving so fast. I have ten things to deal with today and twenty tomorrow.

I want to dress up slick and go somewhere swank and completely distracting from the day to day norm that overwhelms me now. But I do not want to go alone, and all my heart currency is currently tied up in old heart break stocks. I have no energy or interest in starting a new thing with a new person. I just want simple companionship.

I’m exhausted. Everyday I must invent. I plan my lessons the night before I must present them. The only way to get ahead would be to work through Sunday, but then my daughter would have not a single day of the week when I give her all of my attention. She is only four. Even the entire breadth of a Sunday in the park is not enough for her to satisfy her need of me for the week. I am always playing catch-up.

Yesterday morning, I had no classes and a couple free morning hours before my appointment to see the wizard on Rokko (otherwise known as my therapist). I took my daughter on a walk to the temple near our house. We stood an watched an elderly man as he pulled the thick twisted ropes to ring the bells, tossed coins into the box, clapped his hands and bowed his head.

“Why is he praying, Mommy””
“To have peace in his heart,” I said.
“I don’t have peace in my heart,” she said.
“Well, would you like to pray too?” I knew she really wanted to ring the big bells. I watched her face study the scene intently, thinking hard. Stagefright and shyness overcame her.
“No. I think I have a little bit of peace in my heart. I’m OK today.”

We walked behind the temple to see the statue of the stone warrior covered with light green lichen. We stood under him and studied the thick curving flames carved into the rock behind him, his severely creased brow, his straight arm thrusting out the heavy sword.

“Why is he angry?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe he’s defending the temple. Maybe he’s fighting the bad guys.”
“I don’t think he has very much peace in his heart,” she said.
I laughed, the sound quickly absorbed by the mossy stone walls surrounding us. “You’re right, Kio-chan. I don’t think he has very much peace in his heart.”
Kiomye turned and looked at me. “Are you OK today, Mommy? Do you need to go ring the bell?”
“Mmm. I think maybe I better.”
“Yeah,” said Kiomye, “I think that’s a good idea.”

I am recounting all of this in a modern café on Rokko Island. The air conditioning is turned up too high. It’s not that hot today. The artificial cold is raising goosebumps on my skin and marring my smooth bare legs. I will grow irritated and leave this scene before it grants me the peace I was seeking. Temple bells and coffee shops just do not seem to be doing the trick for me these days.

posted by Scribbler @ Friday, June 09, 2006 2 comments

Charmed mornings and peaceful afternoons

Kiomye and I went up to the Takarazuka Botanical Garden today. On the ride back, she was getting a little bored and restless, so I turned on my ipod and stuck one of the buds in her ear. She became totally absorbed in the music. It was so funny. I was able to take my camera out and snap this picture at arm's length without her noticing at all. We were listening to the "O Brother, Where art Thou" soundtrack, with has the folk songs I sing to her at night.

The gardens are so lovely. We took a billion pictures. I even showed Kiomye how to use the camera, and she snapped her favorite flowers. They day was warm, but there was a light breeze keeping us cool. We had lunch in the greenhouse cafe, sandwiches, cakes and caramel milk tea. So incredibly civilized.

It's almost ten at night and I still have to plan for tomorrow's classes. But, I have to work for the next six days. I won't be able to spend time with Kiomye all week. I decided to spend all day playing with her. I'll just drink some coffee and stay up late tonight.

posted by Scribbler @ Sunday, June 04, 2006 1 comments

Success

The day was hot. Kiomye and I waited until after the sun set to take our walk together. We strolled all the way to the Mondoyakujin Temple. The large wooden doors were closed and locked, of course, but from the top of the staircase entrance, we could turn around and watch the lights of Nishinomiya turn the summer haze a deep purple. Lovely.

Yesterday I gave my third chapel speech to the entire school. The audience was bigger than previous times as we have a huge crowd of student teachers with us. My speech went incredibly well. I talked about prayer, how it took me so long to be comfortable talking to God. I played a South African song of "The Lord's Prayer", a prayer my students must memorize in English. To show how diverse prayer can be, I also played Lauryn Hill's song "Tell Him" which is all taken directly from 1 Corinthians 13. It's not every day that I get to blast hip hop in church. The students loved it. The teachers loved it. So many people wanted to talk to me after my speech. They wanted to know more, or else hear again the names of the artists I played. That made me feel very good.

Today I finished showing my movie class the modern version of "Romeo and Juliet." I had been worried that the Shakespeare would be too difficult for them to follow, but when Romeo knelt above Juliet, about to drink the poison, my students started pounding theit fists on the desk and shouting "Stop, Romeo! Look, Romeo!" It was great. Three students even cried. It's always a good day when you can make your students cry.

posted by Scribbler @ Saturday, June 03, 2006 0 comments

The usual route

After work today, I picked Kiomye up from school and we rode the train into Nishi-Kita to shop for useless things such as dangle earrings, belly-button rings and hair bobbles in the shape of giant glitter strawberries. (The strawberries were Kio's choice.) She is such delightful company.

posted by Scribbler @ Thursday, June 01, 2006 1 comments